I don't throw-up, not ever, no-way, no how, not happening. The fact that I puked for 3 days straight should have been the first indicator that, Houston, we have a problem. When 10 days passed and I couldn't eat more than a few bites without feeling like I needed to throw-up followed by hours of pain and nausea I decided to call my GI doctor. My first thought was that my mysterious benign Pancreatic tumor (What, you don't all have one of those?) had grown to biblical proportions and was now causing issues. My GI doctor agreed so off to the MRI I go. Nope, Pancreatic Pat looked flat (what, you don't name your pancreatic tumors?). Next up, Endocsopy to rule out stomach cancer and other mystery ailments. That looked fine other than the food that was still in my stomach 18 hours after I ate it... gross. Initial Diagnoses: Post Viral Gastroparesis.
My reaction to this was "Post viral gastropa-what? Gastroparesis means delayed stomach emptying. The post viral part means that the flu damaged my vagus nerve and now my stomach wouldn't function properly. My GI guy felt that as it was post-viral I had a good shot that it would clear up in 2-6 months, because that is what usually happens... This made me a tiny bit nervous because nothing about my GI tract had been usual for the past handful of years. GERD, IBS, Pancreatic PAT, Erosive Esophagus... yep, those all belong to me. Guess what? Now Gastroparesis does too.
After 11 months and 4 days I am now considered refractory. Every medication and intervention has failed. Reglan, domperidone, erythromycin, and about 8 other drugs as well. Diet restrictions work in that I discovered that as long as I stay liquid I stay puke free. The plus side is that, well, I was chubby before this all started and my body burned my fat for the first 9 months. The initial 35 pounds I lost were pounds that needed to go away (though I would have preferred they not do so at the expense of food). The last 2 months have brought an additional 10 pounds and counting and now my body is burning protein. Not a good look. Think midwest hippy housewife meets meth-head aneroxic and you get the picture.
I am fortunate that my body held tough so long but in 7 weeks I will get a j-tube placed to help give me the energy needed to make it to my gastric-pacemaker surgery and the energy to keep going until my body decides to knock this nonsense the hell off.
For most of these 11 months and 4 days I have felt a bit worried, a bit hungry, a lot cranky, and pretty worn out; however, I always knew, knew deep down that this would go away. This ridiculous illness that bothered me so. But until this past week I never felt that this thing controlled my life at all. With the advent of the j-tube into my life and the realization that good health is not at my fingertips I have had to rethink, redefine and refocus my life. I have had to sacrifice things that I love and simplify my time. My family, my part-time gig, and taking care of my body are the only things I can focus on. I always used to think I was wonder woman and I have been burning it at both ends these last 7 months to prove that true. I just realized today that I am wonder woman because I will do what I have to do to make myself as strong as possible for my boys (all 3 of them).
Peace Out!
